A Period of Adjustment

29 days post partum.

29 days of having poor sleep.

29 days of breastfeeding a child.

29 days of changing soiled diapers.

29 days of adjusting to a new lifestyle.

29 days of rest from work.

29 days have passed since I gave birth to our bouncing healthy baby boy. And up until now, I still can’t believe that I am now a mom. Whenever I will be looking at the serene face of our sleeping baby, I still can’t believe that that little boy grew inside of me and came out from me.

I used to wonder how why people keep telling me that I won’t understand a mom’s heart unless I become one. And now, it is clear to me why.

Why whenever I stare at my baby’s face, I can’t help but be happy and satisfied because again, I was blessed by God to have a child to call my own. I still can’t contain the happiness that I feel whenever I will be hearing his cry, his yawn, his calling out to me, his neediness of me.

Sometimes it gets tiresome to have to get up in the middle of the night to answer his crying to feed him and change his diapers as needed. Sometimes, I keep asking myself if  I really am ready to become a mother and having a responsibility all my life to feed him, take care of him, provide for his needs, guide and protect him, and be the mother that a child should have. There are times that I doubt myself and if I am mature enough to teach a child how to be a man. Sometimes, I’ve been thinking if I can really be the best mom that he can have. Sometimes I question myself if I am doing right.

But thank God that I can rely on Him to help me. For in times of trouble and confusion, I know that there is a God to remind me on what to do. And He even sent me someone, a husband that is always there to help me in times when I feel like giving up. He is there to support me and help take out the burden on me. He is there to carry my baby when I needed to use the bathroom or cleanse myself. He gives me time so that I can enjoy my food even if it is during dinner time only. He does the household chores because he knows that I need time to rest. He prepares my food whenever he can because he knows that my hands are full.

I thank God for sending an angel by my side. That even though he is busy himself during the day, still he makes it a point to serve me and help me once he reaches home. Sometimes I even feel guilty for not being able to cook for him and serve him like I used to do before our baby was born, but I will do my best to adjust in our new system so that I will be able to serve the needs of both my baby and my husband.

Hopefully, I can make it sooner because I really want to ba able to return the love that he has shown to me all these times. And I know that I can because I have them both and a strong God to help me at all times. 🙂