To be Angry or to be Happy?

What do you do if it seems that life does not agree with your plans? When you think that you did everything you can but still don’t get the results that you want?

No matter how much I try not to, if situations don’t go along with my preference, I tend to be angry – and worst, I get angry to God. I will ask Him all the unimaginable questions that I can do.

“Am I not good enough?”

“Don’t You want me to be happy?”

“Why do I have to suffer like this?”

“Why me? There are many other bad people out there..”

“How am I supposed to go on with my life?”

And while I am busy harshly interrogating God, silently, He will allow me to throw all my tantrums at Him, and accept all the painful words that I am uttering. And at the end, I will find myself guilty (over and over again), because I know that no matter how mean I was at Him, His reply to me is always His gentle smile, that reminds me that I have to sit back and watch Him work His way through my life. That the events that I encounter are what will make me stronger, and wiser in the long run.

How shameful of me to question His interaction with my life. Suddenly, I would be begging for Him to forgive me for having my doubts on Him. And then in the end, I would be thanking Him, because without those experiences, I would not grow and be who I am right now.

And all will be well. A few seconds later, my life would return back to normal. Endless blessings would be showered upon me making me realize that not all in this life is hard. That for every hurt, two or three folds happiness comes back. And it never fails. When God wants to control our life, we should let Him because all that happens, happens in His will – because we can never have authority over anything in this borrowed life.

Yes, I still feel sad and sometimes angry still whenever bad things happen, but at least I am easy to get back up, and try to be positive soon right after. I would always be thankful that God has entered my life, and He will always be more than welcome to take control of it. That even though life will not always be sweet, still there is a lot more reasons for me not to crumple my face, but all smiles because at the end of the day, God will always be the narrator and author of my life – and I am a just its main character. 🙂

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