Lessons I Learned After Becoming a Mother

It’s been 3 years since I became a mom. I still can’t believe it sometimes. Some of us became mothers very young, while others became first-time moms later. Nevertheless, being a mom teaches us many things.

I knew I wanted to have children even though I know how hard it is to parent them. While there is not one style that works with every child, I knew I had to make my best to teach my child what’s right from wrong. 

However, it was the other way around. Giving birth to my son has taught me a lot of things. And it is what I love about being a mom, trying and learning as we go along. We may make mistakes, but what matters is that we reconcile and move on. 

So here are the things that I’ve learned as a mother: 

Every mom is different

Some parents like traveling with their kids, while others find it a hassle. Some parents prefer traditional schooling, while others spend time homeschooling. Other parents believe that spanking is the best way to discipline their kids, while others prefer gentle parenting

No matter what you believe in, just do it. Don’t compare yourself with your neighbor. You will never be like them. Every mom has different needs, wants, and energy levels. 

Be kind to yourself if you cannot be like your friend who does workout while cooking and caring for the kids. While it is helpful to get inspiration from other moms, always remember that we are all doing our best for our children. 

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Don’t EVER! compare yourself with other moms!

Appreciate the little things

Gone were the days when we have to ask for our partners’ help in parenting children. After I have given birth to my son, my husband was very hands-on when it comes to caring for our child. And I appreciate every little bit of help I can get. 

I was lucky that a few months after I gave birth, the pandemic happened. So hubby was at home most of the time helping me out. He helped bath our son and change his diapers. Hubby made sure I had time for my personal needs even just for a short time. 

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Thanks to the husband for all the help he gives.

It’s everything I needed not to get lost in motherhood. I was also happy that the people around me were very helpful. They made sure I can ask for help whenever I need. So, I would like to thank all the people who have helped and are still helping me get through this motherhood. 

Respect other parenting styles

More and more parenting styles and child development studies have emerged. And now it is confusing for every parent about which one is the best. Learning about the impact of parenting styles on child development can help you choose which one to follow. 

I used to think that spanking is the only way to discipline a child. However, I learned that there are other ways on how to teach a child without punishment. (This is only my opinion, though, no hate comments please.)

Learn from other moms

When I got married, many gave me advice about how to become a good wife to my husband. Similarly, I heard parenting tips and hacks when I gave birth to my son. Sometimes, I can’t follow parenting advice from others, but I am very thankful for those who mean well. 

It’s not possible to follow every piece of advice from all the people around you, but you can always learn from other parents. The realization of being a mother has changed me into another person when I wasn’t one yet. 

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Listen and get tips from other parents.

Be more patient

“Well done, karma, well done.” is one of the most heard parenting meme that I can really relate to. I mean, how can you blame your child for inheriting a trait you don’t like from your hubby? 

Being a parent to my toddler has made me more patient because I am handling a combination of little me and my hubby. It’s funny how you can see both you and your husband in that tiny human being you both created. 

We see similarities in our traits (well, 90% of my toddler comes from hubby, even his traits. LOL!) that our son has exhibited. And knowing that our toddler’s brain isn’t fully developed yet, I know I have to learn to be more patient with him. 

Consistency is the key

One of the most important parenting tips for toddlers is about being consistent in everything you do. It means you have to be consistent about what you allow your child to do. Without consistency, your child will get confused about which ones she can do, and which actions she isn’t allowed to do. 

I believe a child gets spoiled when other people allow her to eat ice cream, and her parents do not. So, the best tip on how to prevent spoiling your child is to be consistent about the rules you want her to follow. 

Another benefit of consistency in parenting is it lets your child have a routine. If you let your child brush her teeth after every meal, she will eventually form a habit of getting her toothbrush after meals. 

Children like it when they can anticipate what is about to happen. And having a routine lets them know what to expect. So, it is best to let the people around you know how consistency helps with your child’s development. 

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Consistency is one tip on how to prevent spoiling your child.

Be the person you want your child to be

I want my son to grow up to be a responsible adult that can provide value to his surroundings. So, I try my best to fulfill the role of the mother in the family because I want my child to know that this is how wives and mothers should be. 

On the other hand, my husband does his role diligently and is very present with his son. Besides working and providing for the family, hubby also helps cleaning and clearing up the dishes at night. 

We do our best to show our son on how to become mature mentally. We might not be the perfect parents but we are working very hard to improve ourselves. Because we are the primary caregivers of our son, we know that we need to show him our best versions. 

Take care of yourself

After giving birth, my postpartum belly hasn’t shrunk yet. And I think it will not shrink anytime soon, because the festive season is on its way. So I know I have to do something to lose that belly fat that used to house my son. 

Being a wife and a mother, it is hard to work out, look good, and keep the house all at the same time. However, I know I have to make it work one way or another. Because I know I can. Not all mothers have the luxury to do what I can so I am utterly thankful for that. 

However, it is important to take care of yourself especially now that you have a tiny human being looking up to you. As much as I want to just lie on the bed all day and watch Netflix or Disney+, I know I have to get up and give my body the care it needs. 

Mommies, I know how hard it is to take away at least 30 minutes of your daily routine just to work out. However, I know that you know how it will make a big difference in your life. We need to stay healthy to be able to take care of our family’s needs. 

So, while I have to get a few minutes off from my kdrama marathon, I know that it will benefit both me and my family. But if you can’t do it every day, relax! If you can squeeze in some form of exercise at least 2 or 3 times a week, then that’s great! 

You can always dance with your child, or sway a little while sweeping the floor. You can also do some stretching exercises while waiting for the soup to boil. Why not do some squats while your child is being clingy to you? That’s an instant weight lifting exercise!

Choose what you think works best for your lifestyle. At the end of the day, we need all the rest we can get. Eat healthily, stay hydrated, and be happy. These are the essentials in our life. 

The takeaway

The list of what I learned from my family is endless. And while there is a lot more to write about the lessons of motherhood, these are what I can think of right now. I hope I have enlightened you about what I’ve learned as a mother. 

Please do share what you have learned as a mother and let’s connect! I’d love to learn more from parents like you! 

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