The unexpected death of a loved one is one of the hardest events to move past. For the past two years, I have heard about a lot of people who have lost loved ones. So I decided to write about how to deal with losing a loved one.
*I am no expert when it comes to this topic, but I have tried my best to produce this content. I was very careful about the words I used so as not to hurt anyone.*
Psychological effects of the death of a loved one
People can experience the trauma of losing a loved one. And while we see how much people’s physiological changes in reactions to the death of a loved one, there are also psychological effects that are not tangible.
A University of Arizona clinical psychology and psychiatry associate professor, Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD, said that our brains are affected after the death of a loved one. She noted in a podcast that stress hormones increase after experiencing loss.
And then after some time, our hormones called oxytocin and dopamine will try to find ways to bring back our past experiences with our loved ones. And it all takes time for us (differently) to move on to the loss of loved ones.
Losing a loved one affects us not only physically, but also mentally. Some people might not show it, but we have to be very careful when we know someone grieving over a loss.
How to deal with losing a loved one easily
Dealing with losing a loved one easily does not mean doing it in a short amount of time. Everyone has a different timeline when it comes to moving on about losses. There is no shortcut way to do it, but here is what you can do to help your healing bearable.
Allow yourself to grieve
There is no easy path on how to deal with the grief of losing a loved one but to grieve. Hiding or shrugging the feelings off will not be helpful. The only way to do it is to go through the pain of loss.
Cry if you must. Write in your journal to feel better. Hug your family and friends who are there for you. Grieving is a healthy way of coping with what you are feeling right now.
Healing takes time
Moving on over the death of a loved one takes time. Whether it is a year, five years, or more. It will never be the same with anyone else. Each of us has a different way of coping and has different healing times.
So live each day one step at a time. Embrace your feelings of sadness and be with people who care about you. Don’t rush yourself if you are not ready yet. Soon, everything will be better.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting
Other people may think that moving on means forgetting the people who have gone. Moving on means being able to go on with our lives with the memories of our lost loved ones still in our hearts.
How to help someone deal with losing a loved one
You might know a friend who has lost a loved one, but don’t know what to do. Here are some ways you can help someone deal with losing a loved one.
Offer a listening ear
Listening to someone talk about their grief of losing a loved one may be one of the best ways on how you can help them. Sometimes, all they need is a listening ear so they could feel better. Let your friend know that they can always talk to you whenever they need someone to talk to.
What grieving people needs is someone ready to listen to them as they cry their hearts out. While there is no way for you to remove the pain of losing a loved one, you can help a lot just by offering a listening ear.
Avoid giving advice
Sometimes, we think that by giving advice, we are helping people move on with the grief of losing a loved one. In reality, saying things like, “He is in a better place right now” or “At least your (family) is pain-free now” is not helpful.
It would be better if you say, “I am so sorry for your loss” or “It must be really hard for you” instead. Sometimes, what your friend need is someone who would listen than hear sound advice.
Connect and offer to help out with tasks
After losing a loved one, some people might find it hard to go on with living a normal life. As a friend, you can help out by offering what you can do for your grieving friend. You can help with running errands or asking what your friend needs at the moment.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
The takeaway
At some point in this lifetime, people will experience the loss of someone they love. Knowing how to deal with losing a loved one is helpful for us to live despite missing someone we care about.
I was hesitant to write about this topic at first because I was afraid some might find this post inappropriate. But I believe that being open about topics like this may help someone who would come across this article.
I hope that I was able to make you feel better after reading this post. If you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to reach out to me. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. God bless!
