Wounded Up

I have a difficult time maintaining my weight. There are times when I get lighter than my usual days, but oftentimes, I feel that I am a bit heavier. Maybe this is normal especially to us girls. I am so conscious about my weight that there are times that I can’t help but control my hunger and cravings, but more often than not, I tend to overeat. I love eating. I won’t deny it. Some of my friends tell me that they envy me because I eat a lot but I still don’t get fat. But then, I would always tell them that I do, and I just do some extra exercising every after we come home from buffets.

Last night, when we went to play badminton, one of our friends came (one who only attends every once in a blue moon). When he first saw me, immediately, he told me that I gained weight. This did not only happen last night, but I noticed that every time we will be seeing each other, those are the same words that are coming out from his mouth. Seriously? I don’t even know if I should believe him or not. And another thing, I got offended. I know this is such a small thing, but as far as how conscious most girls are in regards to how they measure in the scale, so do I. When we got home, I could not help but blurt out to both my siblings about how mean our friend can be for telling me those “bad words”. Both of them (I know) thinks that I am crazy for making such a big deal out of something that doesn’t even bother them. My sister is chubby and she does not even care if someone critiques her about her weight. They also told me that it could be just his expression or maybe it is just his way of starting a conversation. Either way, I was a bit angry.

I won’t deny though that I was really in a bad mood after getting burns from the boiling oil when I was frying our meatballs for dinner. It hurts so bad that I was still trembling even after 5 hours of exposure to the burn. I even already applied some cooling herbal cream. That could maybe the cause of all the fuss I am making out of something so little.

I know I was wrong for taking my pain to them. It just hurts so much that I wanted to cry.

Psalm 147:3 – “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

I know that I forgot to seek the Lord for pain. Maybe I just got too busy with homemaking that I missed the opportunity to allow God to heal my wound, and free me from the pain that I was feeling that time. So God, please allow me to seek Your healing power to treat my burns, and prevent it from scarring (my wedding is drawing nearer! 🙁 ), and please forgive me for thinking so bad about that one friend of ours, who did not mean anything from what he has said, and instead, allow me to accept that being a human will not make us perfect (nor thin just like the models) and we will always have to do our best to be well for the Lord. 🙂