I knew I’d be a stay-at-home mom even before I had a child. Even though I was happy with my work, I wanted to be the one to capture every milestone of my child. And even if many couldn’t do it, I know that I could endure being at home 24/7 to teach and care for my child.
My thought didn’t change after I gave birth. It was a decision I made and I knew I’d do it over and over again. But being a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) isn’t the easiest. Some might think that SAHMs do nothing but care for the baby.
Others might think that SAHMs are very lucky because they can lie in the bed all day every day without worrying about anything. However, what they don’t see are the pile of freshly laundered clothes that need folding every day and the endless cleaning of toys after children got bored playing with at least 3 to 4 times a day.
Finding purpose as a stay-at-home mom
The first best thing to remind ourselves as stay-at-home moms is why we started being one. Knowing what to do at home as a stay-at-home mom is a very easy thing to do. You can search through different social media apps for ways to keep your kids busy.
Most of us know how to keep the house and make sure hot meals are served. Tons of websites teach how to survive a toddler apocalypse, but many still find it hard to stay on their toes after a day of chores and changing nappies.
So, finding purpose in what you do can help you feel better because you know you’re doing your best to keep the house in one piece. I was also at a loss when I first started this SAHM journey. I didn’t know whether being a stay-at-home mom is enough.
I was afraid I’m not being enough to just clean, cook, and wash dirty clothes. It felt like I was lacking when playing, bathing, and feeding our son. And I’d feel guilty when I watch Korean series while sipping a hot cup of coffee during my toddler’s naptime.
Other people’s comments keep ringing in my head when I am just trying to survive this SAHM thing. “What makes you so tired even if you are just at home?” “Staying at home caring for children is very easy!”
So, sometimes, a part of me just wants to shut down from the world (and social media) because what I see is only the best part of other people’s lives. I want to believe that not every day is a sunny day for other people too.
When I get back to the purpose of leaving my job to care for my child, I would immediately feel better. Knowing that I can parent my child gently is what reminds me about why I started this journey. It helps me get back on my feet and makes me instantly enjoy sweeping the floor and picking up scattered toys as if nothing happened.
How to survive being a stay-at-home mom
Don’t ask me “How long should you be a stay-at-home mom?,” because I’d say as long as I could! Why? Because I know that I can. Here are some of the tips on how I survive my daily life with a toddler.
Prepare a stay-at-home mom schedule
My toddler never loses energy no matter what time of the day. Before, I used to dread what to do to keep him busy for the whole day that we are together. Now, I will look for ways to keep my toddler busy before I sleep at night.
It helps that I have some activities prepared for my toddler because I want him to learn too while being at home. Many accounts on Instagram share activities to keep kids busy and that’s where I look for ideas.
Keeping a schedule of activities for children can also help prepare them for schooling. If you are like me and want to do homeschooling, it can be a practice tool for you to get your child interested in what you will be experimenting with.
Have time to do what you love
Being a stay-at-home mom, depression is one thing I am very afraid of experiencing. There are times when I would just stare blankly into the night sky, wondering if what I’ve chosen to be is what I wanted to be.
But, thankfully, I found out that there are things I can do to make myself happy. Crochet, blogging, and journaling are the things I enjoy doing. Despite the whole day of tiredness, I found solace whenever I would be holding my hook and yarn.
Klook.comI try to journal whenever I can because it helps me keep special memories. Aside from that, what I love about journaling is that I can always return to the fond memories I wrote down days, weeks, months, and years back.
Plus, collecting stickers and washi tapes of different kinds already makes me happy. Shopping for stamps, colored pens, and all sorts of journaling materials helps make journaling even more enjoyable.
This is one of the best ways to enjoy life as a stay-at-home mom. Finding out what you love to do (and actually start doing it) can help you cope with the stress and loneliness that sometimes comes with motherhood.
Workout
Exercising helps our body release endorphins, aka the happy hormone. Besides benefiting from the happy hormone release, when we exercise, we burn excess calories we gained from binge eating whenever we are stressed.
Apart from that, working out helps make you feel good because it makes you look good. When we exercise, we lose unwanted flab and tone our muscles, which makes us look better physically. I also noticed that when I work out, I tend to stop craving sweets and junk food.
So, if you want to look and feel good about yourself, make sure to do your workout. Doing at least 3 to 5 times a week of workout for 30 minutes can help make a difference. Start going slow and you’ll notice you’d want to do more.
Clueless as to what workout to do? You can choose from the many exercise routines that suit you. All you have to do is to find what works best for you and your body. Don’t be afraid to try and fail, because what works with others might not work with you.
Take care of yourself
Moisturizers, face mist, lotion, sunscreen, and scrubbing are some of the things you can do to care for your body. Eating healthily, and avoiding junk food, also do wonders not only inside, but also for your outer body.
Sometimes, stay-at-home moms forget to give the care that their body needs because they are busy taking care of the family. However, you have to remember that for you to fulfill your wife and mother roles, you also have to be healthy, inside and out.
Find time to take care of yourself. Ask your husband’s help to care for the kids while you keep up with your beauty routine after you take a bath. Have some me time after you have put your kids to sleep at night.
I used to stay up later at night just to breathe. Sometimes, I would drink coffee at 12 AM just to enjoy the (whole) night, even if it leaves dark undereye circles the next day. Make sure that you are having fun, as you make your family happy.
Forgive yourself for things left undone
As much as possible, we like to keep the house neat and tidy all the time. However, some days, we just couldn’t help but ignore the pile of dishes in the sink and the toys everywhere because our muscles aren’t working well.
Klook.comRelax, mommy! You are not alone. There are times when I just can’t keep up with all the chores and dust at home. When it happens, I try to avoid going berserk because I know that they will always be there no matter what I do.
I forgive myself for not being able to perform my duties 100% of the time. Because I know that at the end of the day, what matters is that my family is well-fed, and we are all happy in this tiny unit.
Enjoy little moments
The best part of being a stay-at-home mom is that I get to enjoy the little moments with our son. I might sound clingy (because, yes, I proudly am), but finding beauty in the simplest moments help make me feel good about being the primary caregiver of our son.
And even if there are bad days in our mother-and-son relationship, I still feel joyful because I am learning to become a better person too. My patience has lengthened further and I can control my anger better now after having our child.
The takeaway
Creating beautiful memories with our son is the best perk of being a stay-at-home mom. Good or bad, it is something we can go back to when we grow old. We take lots of pictures and videos so that we have something to reminisce on in a decade or so.
In a few years, my son will grow older and will be needing less of me. Maybe I can go back to the corporate world when my son grows up, or continue doing what I am doing right now. But one thing is for sure, I will never regret being a stay-at-home mom.
Are you a stay-at-home mom too? What are your best experiences of being a SAHM? Share them in the comment box below because I’d love to hear about them!
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