Dying is living

I have seen a lot of stories in various social networking sites wherein teenagers are committing suicide for many different reasons. Some do so because of frustrations of having disappointed their parents, while others due to being unable to find solutions to their problems. They don’t realize that they are wasting their precious life and on the contrary, a lot of people are doing all that they can in order to live. 

Two days ago, one of my auntie, a close relative of ours died. When my mom sent me a message saying “wala na si Cynthia” (meaning, your aunt Cynthia is gone), I was dumbfounded in our locker area in the office, not knowing how to react, I decided to keep my phone back inside the locker, and went over to our production area. As I was walking, memories flood my brain, while still being unable to register the text message. And there I was finishing my work with my mind floating off to nowhere. It was the moment when I shared the story to My significant other that tears rolled down my cheeks. Finally I was able to release the tension that has built up over the day. Suddenly I learned to accept that she is really gone, and she won’t be staying over in our room any longer. No more laughing over her monotonous voice and exchanging stories with her. No more eating different weird food with her. I wish I could have hugged her when she was still healthy and was with us, to make her feel that she is an important part of our life. 

On the other side of that, one part of me is happy that finally, she is with the Heavenly Father. Finally, she is free from all the pains and sufferings in this world. Finally she can be with her parents who already went before her. And I must admit, I still have a hint of tear whenever I think about her, but what matters most, is that she can now rest in peace. 

We love you auntie Cynthia. We know that you are guiding us up there. Please say hi to our grandmother for us. 😊

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