Someone from my team came up to me awhile ago apologizing because she could not make it to my wedding day. She said that they will be celebrating the birthday of her grandfather. Earlier last week, one of their peers sent me a message saying that she will be attending only the church ceremony. And much earlier than that, one of my high school friends sent a private message in instagram saying she has a family gathering to attend to on the same day. We only have 3 days to go before the big day, and I am not sure whoever still will tell me that they will be absent on my big day. I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know if I should be glad because at least they told me early on about the truth, or if I should be sad because probably, they have other priorities than myself. Well, I am not saying that I am that of a very important person that they should not miss my wedding, but somehow, a part of me is asking my own self ‘hey, am I not that good enough? How come when others are inviting you, you would always have time? And if I am the one, you know for a fact that you would not budge and not even think about it?’ Can’t blame them though, it’s the Christmas season and everyone could be busy with their Christmas parties and family gatherings. Sigh..
Envy and jealousy – Two scary words that we can’t help but feel inside. Without doubt, we allow others to see the real feelings we have, no matter how hard we try to keep them. Unconsciously, we allow others to see through us. Because when we feel this, we tend to act out silly things and in the end making others feel the bitterness that we have inside.
Since I was small, I am a bit serious about life. I strive my best to make other people be proud of my achievements. In school, although I don’t make it to the top 3 in class, I do my best to at least enter the top 5 among the class. It is either top 4 or top 5, but not top 3. I remember clearly that the top 3 in our class was also our class president. She is one nice person too, so as much as I envy her, I couldn’t help but be happy for her. At the end of each year, all top 3 students of each class receive a gold, silver and bronze medal (respectively). Deep inside of me, I really wanted to have either one of them, but I couldn’t. Sad to say, I finished secondary education without gaining any shining shimmering medals – Well, yeah I got one silver, but that was from badminton contest.
Corinthians 10:13 – 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
I experience being jealous or envious about something from someone from time to time. There are a lot of more beautiful and richer people I see and get to interact with. Some of them have longer shinier and more lustrous hair. Others earn more for a living. Some of the people I see always gets what they want. Some of them I think and feel that is much luckier than I am. But what I don’t see more often, is that someone else could be envious of me. I know I am not that wonderful enough for other people to idolize, but what God always tells us is that we are always perfect in His eyes. That no matter how sinful we are, we will always be His child whom He loves so much that He died on the cross and suffer for the sins that we commit will be forgiven and forgotten by the Lord.
John 3:16 – For God so love the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
For this reason, we must do our best to become the type of person that God wants us to be. That is to become a loving person even at times when we feel that we are not that lovable and to not envy others, because we will always be unique and special in the eyes of God. So let us be bitter-less. 🙂
