I used to want to keep myself busy all the time. I would always want to do stuffs to make time pass by easily without me getting bored.
I would play games on my phone, or watch korean drama series, or read mangas, or do facebooking, or surf the net – reading online magazines.
It just makes me feel that my time is being used in a worthwhile manner. I can even proudly say to my friends that I have finished a whole tv series in two days or that I got a new high score in the addicting game that we both play.
I keep finding things to do so that I could make myself believe that I would have no regrets if ever I’d be leaving this earth.
However, in the past few days, I found myself doing the other way around. I have a list of dramas to watch, but I don’t bother finishing even an episode a day, nor do I play my once used to be favorite game. I also downloaded quite a few comics to read, but I don’t even think about reading them in my spare time.
The past few days, or shall I say weeks, I would just bring my phone with me (including all the helpful apps that I used to busy myself with) but I would just put the phone down on the table. After a while, I would pick it up and then try to get myself to do my usual habit, only to find myself getting more bored.
What is happening to me?
It is kinda weird because I know that most of the people are just like me (the used to be me few weeks back), while the me now is rather acting different, for I don’t know what reason.
But now, I may have kinda realise why. I think that it must have been me finding time for myself. While I enjoy the company of my family and friends, I also enjoy just being quiet staring at the surrounding doing nothing while sipping either a hot cup of coffee or iced blended frapuccino.
It seems to me that the older I get, the older I act and feel. That due to the tight and busy schedule that I have on work days, I would rather enjoy the moment instead of do what I used to do to past time.
Now, my favorite past time is doing crochet, and doing nothing. Thank God that I find crocheting destressing, so whenever I feel the pressure of everyday life, all I have to do is either crochet or sit still and quietly in one corner and breathe. 🙂